Freaky Fruit

I always wondered how baby strawberries were made…

Going Places

Even the inanimate objects in this city are makin' moves.

Bethesda's Drug Problem

Be it Ecstasy or Viagra someone’s weekend isn’t going to go as planned…

Pics from Anaheim

I wonder if they have provocative pictures of better hotels to stimulate your fantasy.



















Bet you've never seen such cute asses.










Thats Kim putting in a hard days work before the conference.

















... the only person that would listen to Kim talk about her hard days work.

Too late to 'poligize

If this blog were a child it would have died of neglect, but not before I get taken away by the department of blog services. Thankfully blogs can live, even when neglected. I guess so much has happened in the past 2 months that I’ve been too busy to write about it. I shall try to play catch up and work backwards.

Highlights include: I’ve been to Cali, I’ve emerged, moved to a new apt, visited family, had a friend move away, had a b-day and turned 24.5, went to a wedding and had other adventures...not in that order.

Foolish Foto

Really...?

It's a boy...

...no, no it's a girl

Things you see when walking home if you live in VA...

Beer bottles in love!

Why...

...do people think I'm being shy or cheap when I eat out and don't need them to bring me any water? Today at IHOP I had to have the usual exchange with the waitress, Judy (not changed to protect the innocent), when its time to order drinks. Would you like anything to drink...no thanks...soda, juice?...no, I'm good...water?...nope, I'm all set. Generally I get a confused look and they go and get my food. Not Judy! She puts her hand on my shoulder, looks me in the eyes as if I told her I'd just been released from Gitmo and said "oh no, I'm gonna get some water for you"...abracadabra!

I guess she didn't want Kim, who was already drinking hot tea to get jealous, so Judy brings this Here I am trying to save the polar ice caps and Judy is actively trying to thwart my efforts. Al Gore needs to have a concert about the wasted water in restaurants...

PS: It's STILL Big Baby Jesus' b-day at IHOP

Well Fed Artists

Monster Ship by,
Navy aka Moose, 4






Guy Outside by,
Berg, 5



Fascism Lives by,
Michelle, 21+

Toddler Talk

Today I had to explain to my brothers that girls do not have pee-pees only boys do. And that girls do not grow them later on in life. I was going to tell them that girls can pay to get pee-pees later in life, but I figured that would be too much for their 4 and 5 year old minds.

Later Berg saw me putting on lip gloss and for some reason that was hysterical. He proceeded to tell me that boys cannot wear make up unless it’s blue…I truly hope he figures that out before puberty. Talking to children not only causes mental exhaustion, but it makes me want to hold onto my eggs forever…I’m really going to need Vin Diesel to be a stay at home dad.

Also, it seems as though the state of Massachusetts has gotten a bit more lenient with the legal age to get a license because both of my brothers are under the impression that they’re getting theirs tomorrow.

Immature Wine & Cheese Party

Since we’re adults and stuff we decided to have a dinner party at Derek’s place. In attendance Derek (duh!), Kelly, Monica and myself (another duh!)…later we were joined by Zach (one of Derek’s 17 roomies), which resulted in more wine. Monica and Kelly brought beer, wine, cheese, strawberries, poached pears, some awesome homemade caramel and homemade whip cream (seen whipped by Monica) and I brought homemade Papa John’s :-) We were stuffed and intoxicated, but no one was as inebriated as Monica…hence why she is seeking shelter and warmth under the Express.
I’m happy, yet sad, because Derek and Kelly are moving to start school in the fall in Alabama and New York, respectively. The bright side is that we’re going to have a mega bash in July or August to send them off. I guess we’ll have to have as many wine & cheese parties as we can before they peace out.

Sexy St Patty's Day

Car Bombs in Action

Fly & Foolish

Alex is …

A.Searching for ye pot of gold
B.Searching for the back of his cell phone
C.Playing hide ‘n’ seek…by himself after 4 too many car bombs
D.Just plum confused

Modern Art by Gio

Now that's what I call an asset...

America's Next Top Models

...presents Berg & Moose! These fellas love the camera! I wonder what they were thinking?

Berg:"Would this face lie to you?"

Moose:"Ladies"

What do you think they're saying?

Why Michelle and Amy shouldn't be allowed alcohol and a camera...

Michelle's New Man

Thanks Amy for taking the awesome pic of me and my new Irish baby daddy Leks from Scythian. Ladies, he's got a cute brother too ;)

Did I Move to Moscow?

Legalized Crack

These are drugs!

This is your brain on drugs!

Any question?!?!

Work Shoes

To the left, to the left is my artistic interpretation of shoes a woman was wearing at my job...No I still work for the government. Cleary I had missed the memo that it was Stripper Thursday at the office. Believe you me I tried my hardest to take a picture of the original shoes with my cell, but alas I was unsuccessful. I could not understand why she said to herself that morning those were the shoes du jour. I figure there are a few reasons why she’d be wearing those shoes:
1. She was had a meeting with Flavor Flav and Dr. Z later that afternoon.
2. Perhaps she was going to her other J-O-B where shoes like this are ideal for her to get low, low, low, low, low.
3. Or she’s blind and dresses herself
I'm open to hearing your take on it.

Word

Roadside Seafood

If I ever wanted food poisoning in Tampa this would be the cost effective way to do it.

Art Appreciation Day

Saturday, Jan. 26th marks an adventure with Gio at the National Portrait Gallery in the not-state of Washington, DC.

We were there for one reason only. Not to understand the deeper meaning of the third floor’s modern art exhibit... Not to view the soon to be gone Presidency and the Cold War exhibit (as if I'd care). Nope we went so we could go to the bathroom, specifically the one on the second floor. This wasn’t the result of an overactive bladder, but to see a portrait of a great man who speaks the truthiness Mr. Stephen Tyrone Colbert...didn’t realize his middle name was so gangsta!

While there we had a little bit of a run in with security…story of my life. He wished to infringe upon our inalienable right to stand in line as many times as we wanted to take as many pictures as we needed with the finest work of art they had in that chop shop. I of course could not go quietly and had to give him my 3 cents when he tried to tell us to stop taking pictures and keep it moving. I wanted to get in line again just to prove my point, but Gio guided me into the exhibit hall of actual presidents, which wasn't as interesting. That second floor bathroom has never had it so good or so much security.

The three security guards tasked with crowd control were clearly CCed on the wrong memo when it came to the terror alert for the portrait.

Later when we’re touring the less popular exhibits of the Gallery the same security guy who wanted to “flash” me earlier is like “You & you! Come here!” Why couldn’t he be talking to the other you & yous in the museum? He proceeds to ask us “what’s the big deal with that painting?” How can you guard a national treasure when you don’t even understand its importance? Why was he giving me such a hard if he doesn’t even know who the man is? I’m sure he’s just jealous because there wasn’t a line of woman at his bathroom. We explained the importance of the portrait to our nation’s history and now he’s our BFF.

We took other significant pictures, which I will edit and post on...

Welcome!

This is the rough draft and the start of something...not sure what that something is. I guess I'll keep this blog thing up until I get ADD.